GeneDupe's business is biotech pets. Not for Dr Fril, though, the mundane cloning of dead moggies and pooches. He plans a range of entirely new animals—or, rather, of really quite old animals, with the twist that even when they did exist, it was only in the imagination.

Biology and computing have a lot in common, since both are about processing information—in one case electronic; in the other, biochemical. Virtual cell biology aspires to make a software model of a cell that is accurate in every biochemical detail. That is possible because all animal cells use the same parts list—mitochondria for energy processing, the endoplasmic reticulum for making proteins, Golgi body for protein assembly, and so on.

Because this "growth" is going on in a computer, it happens fast. Passing from egg to adult in one of GeneDupe's enormous Mythmaker computers takes less than a minute.

Using this rapid evolutionary process, GeneDupe's scientists have arrived at genomes for a range of mythological creatures—in a computer, at least. The next stage, on which they are just embarking, is to do it for real.

This involves synthesising, with actual DNA, the genetic material that the computer models predict will produce the mythical creatures. The synthetic DNA is then inserted into a cell that has had its natural nucleus removed. The result, Dr Fril and his commercial backers hope, will be a real live dragon, unicorn or what have you.

A cannabis smoker has been arrested after complaining to police that he was sold bad weed.

Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, from Darmstadt, lodged a complaint about his dealer with police after he sold him seven ounces of "completely un-enjoyable" hash.

But despite the official complaint, in which Bendt described himself as a victim of "fraud" involving drugs of "absolutely mediocre quality", the officers failed to act upon the allegations and booked the complainant instead.

An 18-year-old drug dealing master criminal is languishing in Utah County Jail after reporting the theft of his stash to police, the Deseret Morning News reports.

He rang the cops to complain that someone had broken into his Orem home and made off with the "quarter-pound of marijuana he had been trying to sell". The burglar "had broken a window and apparently cut himself while crawling into the home" and a "trail of blood indicated that the thief's efforts were concentrated on the 18-year-old's bedroom, where the drugs had been kept".

The cops soon tracked the Provo man to his mother's house where they found six ounces of marijana and "a pair of blood-soaked pants" - a result of a large cut on his arm. He was quickly booked into Utah County Jail on "multiple burglary, theft and possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with the intent to distribute" raps.

Police then asked the owner of the drugs to pop down to the Orem Public Safety Building to identify his property. He duly did, and was cuffed for his trouble. He faces a charge of "possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute".

A Wakefield man lost his appetite when he found "dog sh*t" listed among the ingredients on a packet of ham.

Mick Woods, 34, examined another of the 300g containers and saw the same 'additive' listed on the label.

The dad-of-three added: "We spent 40 minutes laughing. But we haven't put any in the kids' sandwiches and we had something else for our tea."

Manufacturer H R Hargreaves & Son said it axed an employee over the labeling prank and was trying to recall the ham.

A spokesman for the Manchester firm said: "We can't have people fooling about with food products. A number of packs are affected. We're trying to find out what shops they're in."

A Croatia lumberjack claims he started 'enjoying housework and knitting' after he was given a female kidney.

"I have developed a strange passion for female jobs like ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes in wardrobes and even knitting."

He pointed out that before the kidney transplant he would not have been seen dead doing the housework, and expected his wife to do it all, but now found it both relaxing and fulfilling.

He said: "My wife is the only one that is pleased. I do most of the housework now, and I blame the hospital that transplanted me the kidney of a 50-year-old woman instead of a man's kidney."

A Turkish shop assistant was arrested after he was found lying naked with a mannequin in a store window.

The 30-year-old man was discovered by colleagues opening up the department store in Antalya for the day.

They called police after noticing bite marks on the mannequin. Two other mannequins that showed signs of abuse were also taken in as evidence.

A Beijing bloke repeatedly burgled a neighbour's house to repair her computer, a Chinese court heard.

The man told the court he had a huge crush on his neighbour but was too shy to tell her about it. So he broke into her house five times, sometimes to leave her snacks and other times to do the dishes.

Police caught him walking out of the neighbour's apartment with a key to her door, a bra, two photographs and her MP3 player, which he said he was taking to get fixed.

For some reason the court dismissed the charges against the unnamed burglar, despite the fact that he did steal some photographs and a bra 'out of love'.

The mayor of a Brazilian town is trying to bring in a law making it illegal for residents to die.

Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva, of Biritiba-Mirim, came up with the idea because the town's only cemetery is full.

He wants to bring in a law that would see relatives of people who die before their time face fines or even jail.

The law would make it an offence for the town's 28,000 citizens to not look after their health properly.

Gym memberships have reportedly shot up since the mayor announced his plans, and more people are visiting doctors.

A disabled man had his electric wheelchair confiscated after being caught more than four times over the drink drive limit.

Police stopped Mietke as he was on his way to buy beer from a petrol station in the early hours of the morning.

They said he was going down the road from side-to-side and when breathalysed found he had 228 milligrams of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood.

In Germany, the legal limit is 50 milligrams of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood.

In court Mietke admitted: "I drink 10 to 12 bottles of beer a day."

He will now have to use a regular wheelchair until the ban is over.

Melbourne council is unlikely to collect a parking fine imposed on a 71-year-old man for exceeding his alloted time in the car park of the Croydon Market shopping centre since he had lain dead for "several days" in the vehicle when an enforcement officer moved in.

The Mayor of the eastern suburb of Maroondah, Paul Denham, explained that the "parking officer had not noticed the man when he attached the parking fine to the windscreen", offering: "The parking bays are 90-degree with cars parked nose in. A small garden bed is located immediately at the front of the parking bays. Our local laws officer checked and wrote out the ticket at the rear of the vehicle and placed the ticket from the passenger side on the windscreen. The local laws officer did not notice anything unusual regarding the vehicle, and is extremely distressed to have learned of the situation."